What Kind of Woman am I?

This semester, I'm taking my last class towards my linguistics minor, LING 1235: Language, Gender and Society. For our first major assignment, we have to basically identify what kind of woman (or man) we are, and what we do that fits into our particular prescribed cultural gender roles and conversely, what we do that diverges from our assumed gender identities. We were given very open ended instructions for this assignment, so I figured using my personal blog to record my thoughts would be both a unique method of completing the assignment and also an interesting and thought-provoking topic on which to blog.

So who am I? Calen Alexandra Cygan: 21 years young, a senior at the University of Pittsburgh, majoring in Anthropology (specifically cultural), with a certificate in International and Area Studies (with a focus on Europe) and minors in both Linguistics and Italian Language and Literature. I currently hold two jobs: I work at Benedum Hall as a Student Assistant in the department of Mechanical Engineering and Material Science during the week, and on the weekends, I’m a ‘Birthday Party Pal’ at the Children’s Museum. I love both of my jobs! I would say I’m a pretty typical college student; I like hanging out with my friends when I’m not reading or doing homework for classes. And when I graduate (early-at the end of this semester!), I plan to continue on the academia path to earn my PhD in Anthropological Linguistics.

But that really says nothing about what kind of woman I am. I like to paint my nails and gossip with my girlfriends. I like shopping for clothes, and I enjoy getting dressed up (although, most times its more because I have to for work, especially with working in a professional setting such as in Benedum Hall). My ideal midlife crisis job would be to become a makeup artist for Sephora. I like to cook. This summer, I worked a third job as a babysitter at the Jewish Community Center in Squirrel Hill, and I absolutely loved getting to hold the infants. Kids really make me so happy with their carefree attitudes and how they say whatever is on their minds; the Children's Museum reminds me of that almost every weekend. Baby animals, regardless of species, always have a soft spot in my heart. I am definitely a caring person, which certainly plays into the expectations of my gender. Growing up, I was a cheerleader, a gymnast, and a ballet and tap dancer. I have a stuffed elephant, Peanut, who I sleep with every night and take on every trip with me!

I have a second degree black belt in Taekwondo, and more often than not, I’d rather be “one of the guys,” than chattering around a large crowd of girls. I really like sports, my favorite being football and hockey and my favorite teams being the New York Giants and the New York Rangers, respectively-even though I’m from the Pittsburgh area! I know more about sports than my boyfriend, and he also comes to me for advice for things like generator engines; he lost power during Hurricane Irene and could not figure out how to work the choke on his generator-I had it up and running in less than 20 minutes talking him through it over the phone. I know a lot about car makes and models, and I even started rebuilding a car essentially from scrap metal when I was 14. I listen to a wide variety of music, but some of my favorite stuff I've gotten from my guy friends. I can't imagine many girls listening to much dubstep music-like this song, which I listened to repeatedly while writing this blog entry. I like to play video games, and can beat most guys at any game in the Madden series, as well as most other sports games. I own a Nintendo-64 game system, and I love it! I prefer Nintendo consoles to Sony ones like the Playstation, as the controllers confuse me!

It's difficult for me to differentiate what I do that specifically makes me a woman or counters my femininity, as the really close girlfriends I do have are very similar to myself. Throughout college, we have all remarked multiple times how funny it is that we are all friends, as we always got along better with guys in high school and we never expected to have this many good girlfriends in college. I've been lucky to have made nearly all of my best girlfriends within the first six months of college, and all my close guy friends by the middle of sophomore year, so being friends with the same large group of people for quite some time now has made me become comfortable with our habits and lose track of what sets us apart or makes us similar to the other gender and to each other in general. (Below center: all my best girlfriends and I watching Super Bowl XLV where the Steelers lost to the Green Bay Packers//sorry for the vulgarity of my friend in this image!!)

We seem to have moments where we all really do fit in with the guys-see picture above, with almost all of us in Steelers jerseys watching the game with our guy friends. And of course, every so often, I'll do something that makes me feel really "girly." For instance, a couple of weeks ago, my roommates and I were all watching television, when they all left to go grab some food. I wasn't paying attention to the show they were watching until after they left; it was "Say Yes to the Dress" a show in which brides-to-be try on a variety of wedding dresses until they find one that suits them. While watching the show, I started searching the internet for wedding dresses of my own, resulting in me having four ideal wedding dresses, two different styles of bridesmaid dresses, and even a couple beautiful engagement rings open in my browser when my roommates returned. By no means am I ready for anything even resembling marriage, but looking up these dresses and even fantasizing about a wedding someday is definitely something that makes me a woman-I've never met a guy who has his dream wedding colors picked out, but if I ask any of my girlfriend, they will give you at least two colors without the slightest bit of hesitation.

Reading over my analysis of myself and my gender and how I portray that gender shows me that culture plays a huge role in determine what's "right and wrong" for a particular gender. Even the conscious thought of my friends and I-which usually goes something like "God, we're such dudes!!"-shows that we are aware of how we should act as women and how we deviate from that, both consciously and unconsciously. I never remember to sit with my legs crossed and I constantly have to be reminded to bend at the knees when I'm wearing a dress. But the fact that I even wear dresses is a completely culturally constructed concept. Looking at it from an anthropological perspective (I tend to do that!), gender stereotypes are just that-stereotypes. I'm expected to wear dresses and paint my nails and speak like a lady, just because I biologically am such. But in fact, I curse like a sailor, even when I am in a dress and heels.

So, to answer the question 'What Kind of Woman am I?' in 1200 words is difficult, as being a woman in America is different than being a woman in Iraq or in Ghana or even in Brazil. I do not fit neatly into a gender specific package, but I doubt anyone does. I can be extremely girly, but I can also fit right in as 'one of the guys.' Language is certainly one of the ways that I can be feminine, but certainly some of the things I say defy my gender role as well. Thinking about this for this assignment definitely made me more aware of the gendered things I do, and I'll be more aware for particular characteristics of each gender's conversational habits as this class continues.